She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
