today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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