ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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