sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
When are your genitals available?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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