do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
