dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
