I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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