I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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