I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
