i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
