Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
