She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Are we still banned from the library?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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