**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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