I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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