Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
