Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
