There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
