I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
