The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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