laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
