obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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