and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
