U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
