Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You left your phone here
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