He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
