Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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