She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Randomize