Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize