Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
