Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
