walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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