your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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