Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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