Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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