I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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