Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
3pm strippers are depressing
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize