hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You're like the curious george of whores
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You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
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I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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