There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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