shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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