pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize