The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
