i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
