Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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