New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
