but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
