You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
