That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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