Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
