Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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