It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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