even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
