so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
