if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize