He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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