I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize