He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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