he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
