problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
